Rant: Don’t be a ‘nice guy’
If you’re a connoisseur of memes, you might have run into the ‘nice guy’ phenomenon. Screenshots of guys asking weird, sexual questions to girls and when the girls are creeped out and don’t want to answer, they go on full attack mode, calling the girls whores that just want asshole dicks and that they’re such nice guys. If you recognize this behavior, stop now.
What is a ‘nice guy’? The definition from Urban Dictionary (I know, a super reputable source. This isn’t a research-paper it’s a blog post. Work with me.) says that a Nice Guy is ‘One who has ulterior motives. He believes that because he behaves in a certain way the world owes him for his actions. He doesn’t make it clear what he desires from the beginning and becomes angry when he doesn’t get what he wants.’. This expectation is sex from women because they are ‘nice’ and deserve it.
Here’s the problem: Kindness should normal. If you are being kind, hoping to get something out of it, you aren’t actually being nice. You’re being deceiving because you are only doing it out of your own interests. You’re also implying that women owe you something for your behavior. No woman owes you anything. Hell, no person owes you anything. Nothing worth having comes easy. So work for it. If you like a girl, tell her that. Don’t just be nice hoping that your niceness will reward you with her affection for you. That’s not how it works. Ask her out.
Another thing: Don’t just be nice to girls that you’re attracted to. Be nice to everyone. The person at the cash register at your grocery store, your neighbors, that random guy on the street. If you’re selectively nice because of how someone looks, you’re not a nice guy, you’re an asshole. Be honest. Being nice doesn’t just mean complimenting someone because it would hurt their feelings otherwise. Just be subtle when you’re being honest. Don’t say ‘You suck at this.’ but be constructive. ‘I don’t think this is very good, but if you keep on practicing you will become better.’.
Why am I posting this? I started this blog for people who were like me. Socially awkward, inexperienced with all things on the outside world. I was a ‘Nice Guy’ for a long time. I’m actually just happy that none of my actions from that time have ever been spread around on Reddit because oh boy, was I a bad one.
But it’s never too late to change. Self-reflection is a big part of becoming a better man, and that is also a part of what we all need to strive for. Fashion is nice, but you can paint a turd gold and it’ll still be a piece of shit. Don’t be a golden turd.